Fun with Hebi & Spade
by akatsukigirl1230
Summary: Hebi-chan not to mention the amazing, by-polar Spade 'magically appeared' in the Naruto world. What do we do? Join the acclaimed Akatsuki of course! DeiXOC, ItachiXOC, possibly a little HidanXOC cause Hebi would kill me if not. Hehe.
1. The Great Debate

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_**Chapter 1: The Great Debate.**_

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It was a rainy, and windy night. The cold air blew through the slightly open window causing the two girls to shiver. Siting on the floor were the most amazing, creative, slightly insane, and a dash of sadistic women you with ever meet. At this moment they were fighting. Yes. It was over the most important thing in the world; anime.

"But I wanna watch Ouran Host Club!" whined the light brown hair girl. Her wide blue eyes begged her best amigo to agree. She of course didn't.

"No. I want to watch Bleach..." The dark haired girl stated.

"NO! I don't wanna!" the first girl continued to whine "The episode you always watch doesn't have Gin. Or Toshiro. Or Urahara. Or..." but, alas she was cut off from her ranting with a well aimed whack.

"I don't care. It's not my fault you picked side characters as your favorites. If you had picked a main character you could see them all the time." she glared.

"But... The main character is no fun in Bleach! Ouran Host Club's main character is waaay better! Plus, you and Kyouya are scary alike. Come on Momma!" the brunette tried to persuade.

Here it comes, in..

3.

2.

1.

"I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER YOU BY-POLAR ASS!" the very annoyed Itachi fan-girl roared.

"But, Hebi-chan.." the brunette whined. Her eyes were filling with unspilled tears,_ (curtsy eye drops)_ and her face had the most pathetic puppy face you will ever see in your life. The kind of face that would make you run up to Saw, and beg him to assassinate you on the spot, in the most brutal and agonizing way. That bad.

"Your puppy eyes do not have an effect on me. I am far to amazing." Hebi-chan retorted.

"Neh, Hebi, nevermind you don't act like Kyouya. Kyo-chan is to cool for you. You act more like Itachi..." the sentence trailed off.

-Sudden epiphany-

"NARUTO!" the girls came to an agreement. So.. this started another problem; which episode to watch...

But before they could undertake the all out fan girl battle that was to approach, the room begin to spin. To bad Spade-chan hates spiny things.

"Huh, Hebi-chan.. is.. it an earth-quake?" Spade freaked, and begin running in circle, only to trip on a conveniently place rock, and land on her face.

"Hn." Hebi smirked. Other people's pain was always the best comedy. For her anyway.

Meanie.

_I'm not mean ... you're just a sissy._

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Had to cut it short. I have a DBQ to write.. I want the us to meet the infamous Akatsuki next chapter. I am hoping to show Hebe-chan this, and as a result, we should have human names. She hasn't told me if she wanted to use her name or..? Oh well. I can't wait to add some of our conversions to this... this is going to be epic. Hebi's going to kill the Akaktsuki and take over the Naruto world...


	2. The Black Abyss

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Chapter 2: _The Black Abyss_

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Ah. Where did we leave off? Oh yeah the spiny room. Back to the plot now.

"Hebi! The room is making me ver-y dizzy." Spade whined.

But before Hebi had the chance to whack Spade, again, the room faded to black. The girls felt like they were shoved down a closed in slide that never ended. Colors changed, and Hebi and Spade landed ruffly on the hard ground. The hard unforgiving ninja ground. Wait? Ninja ground? Hebi's eyes opened first, and was shocked at what she saw. Why the hell where they... in anime form?

"Look out!"

Hebi watched as a very sharp and deadly kunal knife propeled at her. What did she do? Grab poor Spade and used her still limp unconscious body as a human shield. Spade was staring to wake up to....

"AHHHH!" Spade screeched as the ninja star came within inches of her face and was hit by a kunai knife. Both went flying and hit a tree. That poor tree.

"Naruto you idiot! You could have killed that little girl! What were you thinking??" Sakura spazzed on Naruto. Hehehe.

Spade slowly unhinged Hebi from her back, and grabbed Naruto's shirt and began shaking him like no tomorrow. Well Naruto won't have a tomorrow when Spade was done, but that besides the point. Spade was shaking Naruto with a flame background that had bold black letters that said _'kill'_.

"Spade" Hebi coolly tried to sedate her friend. But, she continued to shaking Naruto, mumbling a string of curse words. Many of which included,_'Not a little girl_', '_stupid color blind ninja_', and last but not least,_ 'I'm gonna kill Hebi_'.

"Spade!" Hebi growled. Still, Naruto is slowly becoming brain dead from the shaking. Poor Naruto, Spade was taking out all her hatred on the insufficient color blind ninja.

"SPADE!"

"Huh? What Hebi-chan? What happed to Naruto?" Spade said innocently as she looked down at her feet to see a Naruto puddle.

"You mean you don't remember? You were scary!" Sakura backed up slowly in fear of her life. Wise move.

"Hn." The ever mute Uchiha said. (Uchiha for: She is powerful and kicked the boneheads ass, so I like her.)

"AHH! It's Emo-kun! I despises you! You are a meanie head. Wait. You threw the kunai, which if you hadn't had your oh so astounding ninja powers, could have hit me. Meaning if you hadn't of aimed just right you could have KILLED ME!" Spade exploded.

"All I got out of that was, Emo-kun, astounding ninja powers, and killed me. Sasuke is not Emo; he's just unloved! Of course he as amazing ninja powers he's a ninja, and I am kinda am sad it didn't hit you. It would save me money on pain meds." Hebi sweatdropped.

"Hebi!" Spade whined.

"Hn."

"..."

"..."

"AHH! You know I suck at 'see how long you can stay quiet games!! You and I both know I don't have amazing emo powers like you!" Spade fumed. " So, BLEH!" Spade stuck her tongue out childishly.

"Ah, Touché" Hebi agreed.

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What do you quys think? Me and Hebi are having lots of fun with this! We even picked a village and our ninja names! Yea!

Ja Ne!

_~Hebi & Spade._

_REVIEW! PLEASE?_


	3. Fast Forword

_**Chapter 3: Fast Foreword**_

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"Umm.. I hate to interrupt you two, but why did you interrupt our training? The Chunin exams are coming, and we need to be ready for them." Sakura boldy cut in. Who knew she had the guts~?

I spun around a glared an Itachi worthy glare. She dissolved under my angry gaze. Hehehe.

"Spade." Hebi hauled me up by the collar thus, dragging me a way from my glare at Sakura contest, which I was clearly winning hands down.

"Shut up." She threatened in my ear, then smirking she added,"If you do, I will find the nearest cake shop, and buy you a strawberry cake."

[Insert chibi face, and fan girl squeal.]

"CAKKKKKKKEEEEE! I wants strawberry with ice cream inside.. NO~! I wants pudding instead! Yeah!" I nodded my head in a serious manor. Almost like cake was the one thing that could fix all problems. Which It could. WHAT? You don't believe me? TT-TT SHUN THE NON-BELIEVERS~!!

Just Kidding.

Anyway~!

.....

Where were we again? Ah, yes. Team 7. You know what? I'm bored, so, I am going to fast forword, and hopefully confuse the hell out of you all you readers in one blow. I think this remote I just found will come in handy. I can fast forword through the Chunin exams. We aren't ninja. Writing about the exam, would therefore would be pointless. So, we would just sit on the side lines. That's really no fun. Anyway, back to the plot:

"....." I observed the remote in my hand.

"Where the hell did you get that remote?" Hebi yelled in face.

"Ummm. E-bay." I answered

"Oh." She nodded her head wisely.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"Giveme. NOW!" She pouted.

"NEVER~!" I hissed.

"Yes!"

"NO~!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

**{Three Hours Later.} **

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES"

"I'm hungry." I said randomly.

"Y- Wait, what?" She sweatdropped.

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**Spade: **ZOMG! SOMEONE FAVEORITED OUR STORY HEBI!!

_Hebi: _Shut UP! Stop ranting about that damn review!

**Spade: **Ahhh. Emo-chan! Thank the nice reader for their review and favorite! ^W^

_Hebi:_ Sigh. Thanks to 9shadowcat9 for the review, and favorite. If Spade could, she would fangirl glomp you. Be happy she can't. Her hugs mean death.

**Spade: **AHH! Hebi! {Glomps} I love you to!

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I am having a really bad writers block. I want us to meet the Akatsuki already! So that's what I am going to do. I am going to skip the Chunin exams. If I get over my writing block I will go back and write those chapters in question. Schools out in a day... So I should have more time to focus on things I like to. I hate school! Oh, and **I do not own Naurto.**

~Spade.


	4. Plot Blossoms Blooming

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Chapter 4: Plot Blossoms Blooming**_

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** Spade:** Remember that remote last chapter? Well we are going to put it good use. I will now have Hebi and me comment on the battles in the Chunin exams. First the forest of death-

_ Hebi:_ NO! That was so boring! I say we skip it! Where is the god damn remote!

** Spade:** Hehehe. I lost it. {sweatdrop}

_ Hebi:_ What are you talking about? NOOO! I have to suffer from flashback withdrawal~!

** Spade:** I think you mean death from flashbacks.

_ Hebi:_ Oh! Yeah that~! So here goes:

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Hebi and I chose to take part in one of the most scariest things... EVER~! It was called....

"..."

"What?"

"I'm, bored."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Spade."

"Shut up."

"So... Why did we go in to random dialogue when it was getting dramatic.. AGAIN?!?!"

"Well, I'm sick of this. I refuse to wait any more for Itachi-chan!" Hebi squealed.

"Freaking fan girl" I mumbled under my breath.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Hebi exploded.

"Hebi have you taken you meds to day?" I sighed.

"Have you taken your SHUT THE HELL UP today?" She retorted.

"Ah, Touche. So what do you want?" I asked nonchalantly.

"To fast foreword through the Chunin exams." Hebi begged.

"Oh. Ok. We can do that cause we are in an anime. Therefore we don't have to listen to those rules made up by sane humans."

**FRRRRRRIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP**

{This is the sound a TV makes when it fast forwards stuff hehehe. _~Hebi_.}

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_**{The day of the third exam..} **_

"BLAH! BLAH! NARUTO! BLAH! FATE~! FATE IS EVERY THING DUDEEEE~!"

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked. Ok. I determined Hebi isn't the _MOST_ sane person years ago. But, this was an all time high on the random department.

"Oh, that's pretty much all I got out of that fight. It was so not fun. Besides the punch in the face at the end! THAT WAS EPIC!" She jumped up and down in her chair. Hehehe. God I'm a pervert.

"Oh, Hebi, I realize I just asked you this question but, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I shrieked in her face.

"Hehehe... BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! You said what am I doing!" she laughed manically. "I quote, ' WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!'" she said in a really fake impression on my voice.

"Hilarious" You could almost hear the sarcasm seeping in slowly. "What I was talking about was the pile of money in front of your chair." I said pointing to in front of her. I swear she had some weird fetish for money. Freaken Kakuzu I tell you.

"Oh. I was counting my money. You realize we just talked through like, all the battles."

"How do you know?" I asked clearly confused.

"Oh that's easy! Because of the fact we are surrounded by Sound ninja. Wait! THAT MEANS I MISSED SASUKES BATTLE~!" chibi tears rolled down her face.

"Well, then. We aren't ninja right?"

"No" she replied.

"We can't protect ourselves, right"

"...No." she answered hesitating.

"THEN RUN!" Grabbing her hand, we ran out of the Chunin stadium. I was kind of sad that the 3rd was going to die... but there wasn't much I could do.

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YEA~! Me loves reviews. This chapter is so aimless... can you tell Hebi wrote it? She fails at spelling. Worst then I do. So, because she is so lazy, I was the one who was forced to put this through a spell checker. {Sigh} TTwTT She hates me.

_**Note:**_

_**Hebi and my human names are Mikomi {Being Hebi's} and Shiori.{Being mine.} I might randomly slip, now that I know the names. So don't sue me!**_

Review: 

_Piper: _Let us crazy people unite! YEA~!


	5. On Teh Run?

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_**Chapter 5: On Teh Run?!**_

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**Spade POV **

Hebi and I ran till our lungs give out. We added a new meaning to 'hauled ass'. Cause we hauled some serious ass out of that stadium. Hey! Don't look at me like that! We can't say and fight! We value our sad and pathetic lives! That's why we are not ninja. Plus Hebi is much to lazy to be a true ninja anyway. She would just sit and count her piles of money.

"Where the hell do we go? Konoha is a full out war zone! You can't go any where!" Hebi pointed out rather annoyed. She had to leave a pile of money behind that she _happened_ to be counting when the enemy ninja attacked. Poor, poor Hebi. What shall thee do without yourth precious moneyth. Yesth.

"Umm. The only safe..ish place would be outside Konoha walls, but that means we have to get out of this alive, and in one piece preferably." I said, weighting the logical options we had. It seemed that was the only one in favor of our lifes anyway. It's not like we are ninja of Konoha, therefore we have the right to leave the village without any unwanted ninja ordeals. We are here for the chunin exams after all. What they didn't know won't hurt them.

"Agreed, lets go through that huge hole in the wall, it makes things easier." Hebi pointed. Sure enough there was a huge hole in the middle of the wall. Tell me if I'm wrong, but I think that's were the three headed snake came through, right?

Sighing I followed her. This was the first time we had be outside of Konoha since we had puffed in to the Naruto world. Who would of thought ninja forests were so boring. All I saw was trees; no shinny, no bunnies. God, ninja forests suck! Bored, we observed a very odd looking tree right in front of us. It was very strange looking with a black and white design. Wait.. ah, shit.

"Hebi back away slowly, but not to slowly. It would draw his attention." I sent a worried glance at the tree in question. Trees don't smirk creepily do they? I didn't think so. She sent me a worried glance. "Why may I so boldly ask?" she dared to question me, when I was saving her life again. People these days don't appreciate anything they get, Shesh.

"Tree's are not black and white, smirk creepily when you comment on them and lastly, THAT TREE IS ZETSU!" I yelled and pointed in a oh so dramatic way.

Hebi sweatdropped. "Yeah, and I'm the tooth fairy. How much sugar did you eat to day?" she glared at me, clearly annoyed with my out burst. Ya think she would get used to it after a while.

She turned to face me, meaning her back was to the tree, glareing at me some more. It would seem she wanted some answers. What was that one ninja rule, 'See through deception'? Well Hebi my friend, you failed ninja otaku school epicly.

"Ano..." I starred while doing a very Hinata like poise. Hebi just rolled her eyes, and stomped away.

"Hack!" I looked at the spot were Hebi was, like, not even 3 seconds ago.. but she wasn't there! I glanced over to the Zetsu tree to see he was no longer there either. Humm...

"Should we ask her to come with us?** I say we just knock her out**."

"...."

Slowly I turned to see doom staring me in the face. I must say.. death smells a lot like human flesh.

_Ewww Gross._

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Ha! I must thank everyone for reviews, ete. Hebi is so boring in this chapter. For those who don't know, yes the tree was Zetsu. Yes Hebi was kidnapped.. and I was to. By a crazy freak man. That eats human flesh. Ewww.


	6. Dream's Vengeance

_**Chapter 6: Dream's Vengeance**_

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_

My eyes fluttered open to complete darkness. Out of habit I tried to stretch. The key word there is, try. It didn't work out all that well, cause, well my hand were tied. What a way to wake up.

"I see you are awake."

"Hn." Hebi groaned behind me. She never did waking up.

"I am going to ask you some questions. You have to answer all of them." We both nodded in silent agreement. Out of the shadows stepped the aclamed co-leader of the Akatsuki; Pein himself.

"I'm Pein the leader of the Akatsuki..." in the dramtic slient room. As he was talking I glanced at Hebi, who smirked.

"PAIN WITHOUT LOVE, PAIN I CAN'T GET ENOUGH, PAIN..." Hebi sang in her tone deaf singing voice. I bursted in to a fit of giggles. Leave it to Hebi to go in to random song, and have the lyrics fit perfectly with the moment. To bad she destroyed the mood.

"Uh..Ok. What are your names." He was trying so hard not to lose it. I bet he felt like his IQ was dropping by the minute. That's how I felt with Hebi.

"Wait.. since you are here questioning us, that means we are at the Akatsuki HQ right?!?!" Hebi had just caught on. Sighing Pein rubbed his temples.

"Yes. You know what this pointless. I'm going back to my office, try not to get killed by the other members until I can get answers out of you two." With that, Pein slipped back in to his dark shadow. A quiet thud was heard when he closed the door.

"So."

"Yes, Hebi."

"He never did untie us did he."

"Nope. He never did Hebi."

"Well this sucks."

"Yep."

"Wanna play a game?"

As soon as that was said a flash of orange flew through the door and glomped Hebi.

"TOBIII WANTS TO PLLLLAAAAY A GAMEEEEE!"

"TOBI! Get back here un!"

"AWWWWWW! I'll play a game with TOBBIIII!" I squeaded. Tobi is so cute, I'd play any game with him. Interprite that is you want.

"Really? Tobi likes you! What do you wanna play?" AWWWW! He is so damn cute!

Giggling I tried to glomped him around the middle. "I decare we play, 'Search for a bunny'. But you have to untie me first."

"Ok!" With that, Tobi and I began our oh so exciting misson to find a bunny.

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_**Hebi POV**_

"Taku, what a idiot. un."

"Yep."

"So, are the two 'dangerous ninja' that Leader-sama whated kidnapped-un?"

_Dangerous ninja?_

"Ugh, yeah. I think. So, where is Itachi?" I asked my eyes gittering at the one hope to meeting the famous Uchiha.

"That bastard.. I think he's on a misson. Why-hmm?" Deidara asked.

"Nothing." I giggled evily. Shoving my hands in my pockets I began to follow the ninja shoe shaped burns on the floor, humming "Trigun Killing Time Song" sadisticly under my breath for effect.

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_**Spade POV**_

"Tobi slow down! I'm going to get sick!" I begged for the third time. I swear, he has selective hearing or something!

"Don't worry Tobi will keep you saf-"

Yep. I know what you are thinking. You think Tobi ran in to an Akatsuki memeber, right? Well WRONG! Something even better happened.

"TOBBBIIII BUUNNNNNY~!" As I yelled that, Mikomi was strolling by with her hands shoved in to her pockets. (Remind you of someone? -COUGH- Uchiha -COUGH-)

Moving on, she was humming. I remeber that song... It was kind of creepy. The lyrics kind of went like this:

_"Total Slaughter,  
Total Slaughter.  
I won't leave a single man alive.  
_

_La de da de dai,_

_Genocide._

_La de da de duh,_

_An ocean of blood._

_Let's begin the killing time."_

Ugh, creepy. Personaly I like happy songs. You know, I bet Madara was humming that as he was killing the Uchiha clan with Itachi.

"Ne ne!! I'm going to put you down 'kay? Tobi has a misson with Zetsu now. Here, Tobi will set you here!" I was then dropped on to a very soft couch. I slowly drifted into a gentle sleep;the first nap i've had in three days.

I was awoken by some really annoying shaking later on. Slowly I opened my eyes to the bright lights. Who's idea was it to have furlecent lights?!? I thought natural lights would be cheaper. I'll have to take that up with Kakuzu. I hate waking up to bright lights. It's annoy and hurts my eyes.

"Hey! Wake up! Dude-with-to-many-pericings wants to see us. No doubt to question us some more. Come ON!"

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Hey readers~! I'm sorry that I have not updated in a long time. But I'm sad to say that LuLu got sick and threw a fit yesterday day when I was typing. For those who do not understand what I was saying, I will translate. My computer (Yes I name objects.. my MP3 players name is Midori cause it's green.) got a virus and threw a fit saying I had like, 36 problems. Which is so untrue. We tried to scan it with our laptop, but it only spread.. like a sickness. I tell you it's a computer epidemic!! AHHH!

So.. now I have to type on the laptop... Which I hate. Ahh, pity party!

Review!


	7. Brush With Death

_**Chapter 7:** A Run In With Death_

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So, that being said I was on my way to see the wicked piercings man. Get ready for the interrogation to begin.

"Hello. I am, as already have told you, Pein leader of the Akatsuki. I want to ask you two a few questions I was unable to ask you before. I hope you have had time to calm down and become a little more aware of where you are. First I would like to ask what your names are…"

_Ah… what am I going to say. I can't say my name is Spade nice to met you. That name is so clearly NOT Japanese!_

Stealing a glance a Hebi I become realized she was giving me glances. Clearly she was as clueless as what to say as I was. So like any normal person I referred to my large list of anime I have seen. From there I picked female characters at random. This is what I ended with:

"Shiori Kushieda. And her name is Mikomi Yukimura." Not truthful, but it will work. You know, I think I just stole Minori's last name and made it my own. Oh, well who cares. {1}

Pein just nodded. "Good. What village do you come from?"

Crap. Ehhhhhh. Then Hebi/Mikomi opened her big fat mouth and butt in. Of course she couldn't just let me do the talking. I'm in fear of my life, and all she would care about is if she gets to meet chicken-butt. (Sasuke)

"We come in peace. We mean no harm to the ninja in this time zone. We got lost in a spike of demonic energy. You wouldn't happen to know what that spike was caused by would you?" Hebi stared at Pein with a blank look on her face, Not blinking.. Just starring. And starring. Wow Itachi I think someone has beat your stare record.

"Uh, I might know. But I'm not being questioned by you. I ask the questions remember?" Pein blinked. So he didn't understand.. That's good I guess. I'm going to mess with him. It's not everyday you get to screw with Pein's head with out being killed soon after. So, I think I'll go Yuki Nagato on his ass! {2}

"Yes. We are from the Information Entity. It is our sole duty to carry out any tasks given to us my our over seers. We collect data on the acts carried out by the human race. We then send that information to the Data Entity. It is not written in any language that humans could comprehend, so I can not present any data to prove what I am saying is true." I said quickly in a robot monotone.

Clearly our poor subject hasn't caught on to our little mind torture game. If he did we both would have been die soon after. But since we are still alive.... well you can take a hint right?

"Ok, cut the crap. You two are to become the Akatsuki's subroutines until you can tell us were you are really from. Understand?" Pein snapped. I guess it wasn't wise to screw with _his _head. He's no fun anyway.

"Fine. We are from the Untied States.." pausing I added "of America" for dramatic effect. Judging by the look on the guys' face he was clueless.

"You know, the grand 'old U.S. of A. ?" Hebi threw in from beside me. "Where the streets are paved with gold?" she added sneering. She always found that interesting in a creepy way. Maybe her fetish for money had something to do with it.

"You know that isn't true." I retorted sighing. All I want is a hot shower, a change of clothes and maybe some food. Why had today be so stressful. I, unlike Little Miss Sunshine, crack easily under pressure. You could say it's my one grand weakness. So, that being said, what happened next could never be held against me.. ever. Nope, but it did seal our fate.

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{1} When I say Minori, I'm talking about Minori Kushieda, from the anime _ToraDora._ Great anime by the way. You could say Minori and I act a lot alike. We are both hyper, childish, and random. But we both care greatly about our friends happiness.. even if it means destroying your own. Oh, and you could say I wasn't really thinking when I picked the name Shiori. But I liked Shiori from the anime _Kanon._ Weird how our first names are so alike even through I picked the name on a whim.

{2} For those who are staring at the computer screen with a WTF face, I going to explain. How many of you have seen Haruhi Suzumiya? Remember Yuki Nagato? The weird robot/alien. Yea, all that was said above was based on her "Intity" thingie she rants about in episode 2. Hebi has just started watching Haruhi Suzumiya and wanted me to add this. Sadly I can see Hebi doing this. She would never crack under pressure. Most likely laugh, or even screw with the person's head, but never crack.

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How was the filler? I have a million reasons why I couldn't update this. But as I might or might not said last chapter my computer was giving me problems. So I had to type on the 'family' laptop. The joy. So, cause this is the 'family' laptop the updates might be far in between. I will try my hardest to update when ever I can! Oh, before I can forget, Hebi/Mikomi asked me to give you guys a link:

www. random akatsuki . com {Just erase the spaces}

It's a link to a story she's co-authoring with her cousin. They don't really understand FanFiction just yet, so they had to use Weebly. I'll give you guys a summary that I made myself:

When Mikomi moves in with Tsuki after her parents death, everything is really perfect. Something goes a rye, they choose to hightail it from Tsuki's abusive step-dad; but after escaping they find them-selves face to face with a group of S-Class ninja. After kidnapping Tsuki, and Mikomi the Akatsuki find themselves with two crazed Naruto Otakus bent on glomping them to no end. Will they live to tell the story of what happens next? _Warnings: This story includes swearing, innuendos, and tons of werid cosplays. {Like Neko-maids, bunny girl outfits, and cat girl suits}_

Rated: T+

Parings: OCxAkatsuki

Chapters: 11

I know it sounds bad.. but read it anyway. It's so funny.. and it seems I'm the only reader. Show your support and go to that link! I want you guys to show some love to Hebi's other Naruto story! Go! Now!


	8. How to Stalk Uchiha's

**Chapter 7_: How to Stalk Uchiha's_**

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_**Pain POV**_

Taking a deep breath I tried to kill the headache that was coming on. This crap was getting annoying. These girls really seemed like they were useless garbage. When Zetsu gave his report I was amused to find they didn't fight back. In fact they didn't even realize he was there until the last moment.

So, if all this was true, why were they listed in the report my spies in Konoha turned in? Did they know more then they let on? They seemed like a bunch of dense idiots of you ask me. Truthfully I felt like killing them on the spot. They aren't going to help me with my goals. Garage like them get in the way.

So, after the two of them claiming to come from a place called "U.S.A" I felt the need to kill them grow. They were lying to me. I really hate it when people lie to me. As I was mussing what I should do, the girl that called herself _Shiori _coughed.

**Spade/Shiori POV **

I was getting sick of standing there having Mr-god-complex asking us question after question, then to say we were lying.

IT'S TOTAL BULL CRAP!

If he keeps this up I'm going to snap. Like I said, I am not good under pressure. So, when Hebi/Mikomi glanced over at me with an amused look we both knew I was at my cracking point. So, I exploded. As simple as that.

"I know what you are thinking. You want to kill us because we are useless right? We aren't going to help you with your goals right? Well, sorry to tell you, Pain-sama" I sneered in a sadistic way "You would be surprised how much Mikomi and I know. For one, I know when countless members of your little group are going to be killed, who kills them, and when they are killed. That's pretty useful is it not?" I giggled in a sweet tone.

Pain just looked at me with a, dare I say it, shocked expression?!?! Can this guy even be shocked?

"That's.. interesting. So, if your information is so actuate, then tell me about one of my members down to them joining the Akatsuki to their death. You, Mikomi go." He nodding and pointed at my other half.

So, if you having trouble figuring out which member our dear Hebi will pick, I will give you a some hints.

**A:** She has a thing for antsy-emo-blank faced guys.

**B:** The person in question got angry when she found out he was a good guy.

**C:** He has a younger brother, whom I hate with a burning passion. In fact, I have used pictures of this younger brother, as kindling when starting a fire to make yummy smores.

"Mhmm. Itachi Uchiha. Born June 9th. He weighs 129 pounds, and is exactly 5'8. His blood type is AB. He has a younger brother by the name Sasuke Uchiha. He was 14 when he joined the Akatsuki. As of now, he is 18. He will die, about 2 ½ years from now at the age of 21."

Am I the only one who's eye is twitching? Why the hell would you want to know a person's blood type? That's just creepy…

"Seems right. You, go."

"Deidara, born on May 5th. He is about 5'5, and weights something like 122 pounds. He just joined recently I'm guessing right? Itachi and his gang of kidnappers um, I mean recruiters, asked him to join. He will be killed by Duck Butt in about 2 years. Happy?"

He glanced a us quickly before nodding.

"I will have you two stay here. I can't trust you to leave the base. So, you have to become our subordinates. I will inform the other members by calling a meeting. You can meet them later. Konan take them to the guest room."

So, after all that, we walked out of the room with Konan leading to way.

* * *

Hate it? I do. School starts tomorrow and I'm been brooding in my room for a week now. So, I thought I might as well type up a short chapter to give to you readers as a parting gift before I enter a teenager's personal hell. Sigh. I am sorry about the lack of updates. But my other story is even more lost than this one. I haven't updated that in over two months. But on the plus side I get to see our dear Hebi again once school starts. That means ideas for the plot. So, It's all good I guess. Oh, before I leave I have to tell you, I gave you guys the wrong link last chapter. It's really,

www. random akatsuki story. weebly. com

Sorry for that mistake Tsuki and Mikomi~~!


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